has a new website. Only 99₵
(for a 3-day trial), the latenight infomercial screamed
at me. See the latest college co-eds getting down
and dirty. I couldn’t help
but think that girls have gone stupid.
99₵ for their collective dignities!?! These are self-
proclaimed collegiates. I wondered how any of them passed
basic math, if any of them even bothered
to do the math. I did. It came
to some bizarre fractional proportion: 1/1000 of a penny
(give or take) a girl.
That’s the pricetag they have allowed
millions of hairy-palmed hounds to slap on their asses,
or tits, or . . . I turned the channel
in disgust. For lack of any better options,
I picked up my pen and wrote
a letter to my congressman about the sad state
of education in this country.